sigh

im so afraid of facing reality.really. OBS.sigh....come to think about it.i feel so afraid.i cant bear to be seperated from you for another 4 months again.but yet i still have to let you go.....its so painful..that feeling is terrible.really...i really hate it.but i cant avoid it...God can you pls make me feel less? so that i wont feel so much pain inside of me?

my 20th bd

thanks dear..love you(:

photos without editing

haha...here's one of the 33 pics that we have chosen..the rest you will get to see on the actual day(:

july...the month of exams and my 20th birthday..supposed to be a happy one but sigh..i have no mood for it already i totally dont know what to do or face that problem without anyone's support i dont wanna be a murderer seriously.

been very busy with stupid projects this few weeks.like sian..and the lecturer dont even make herself clear in whatever things she explain..zzz..dun wanna talk abt it anymore..tml's my project submission date.hope i get good grades..hahha

anw, went town with mum and the kids on friday.went shopping around..andwe saw these pretty flower girl dress for the 2 girls(: pretty right..ha ha..but its abit too early to get it..so shall wait till nx year den go get it..

went to watch transformer with baby jus now..nice show..(:

gtg..got school tml..zzz..sian..wanna graduate quick!!

anniversary cum proposal

ystd was our anniversary..so baby and i went to sizzler to eat and celebrate..and its my first time eating steaks in a restaurant...hha..very gugu right...baby also bought me flowers..after that we went to the fountain of wealth to watch the laser show......and i din expect that he will actually propose there..i was super suprised..when the laser form a line of words saying "pearlyn will you please marry me?"..i was so touch..so so touch..tears flow down my cheeks...OMG...i really cant believe it...no one has ever do so much things for me in my 20 years......i love you dear..thank you so much...

i love you baby...

love love with lots of love..

with lots of love

pearl

ooo.. time flies..im gg back to school nx week..feeling excited i wonder how will it be like..ha ha..this yr is really fast its alrd june..half the year gone liao..and its also our one yr anniversary.....

when its like next week and next week but it din come..baby loves to sleep and his sleeping now..sigh..i have always wanted to go to marina barrage..go for pinic and stuff but its not happening..kinda of sianthats why i can blog now..i have nth to do but i dun wanna slp my weekends away lor its damn boring....well...baby say that he have a good news for us..and the good news is there's flat available in sk...near my parents place...end up see wrong..becos of the t&c we cannot apply..zzzzzzz): happy news become sad news...dear also told me that his ship will not be going for the 4 months deployment nx year so he will have to go with another ship...and becos of that he cannot promote nx yr ): so sad lor..he have to wait till 2011 or even later to get his staff sergent rank...sian...when he talk abt the 4 months trip hor..it reminds me of last year..when we were jus together for a few months and he have to leave me for the 4 months trip..feeling so sad..the flash back of him telling me that he gtg..waving goodbye to me frm far...tears began to flow down my cheeks..that painful feeling i will never forget..how i wish that he dun have to go..and we will jus have enough money to get married....

even typing all this make my tear so much liao..i cant imagine that day...
i guess it will be even worst then the previous one cos feelings have gone deeper..



pearl

i finally got my new netbook frm dear..can use internet at home liao after so long....ha ha..well life is still the same for me..zzz..soon sch gonna start liao..and i got to start all over again to study!..also duno how..but also must know how..ha ha..well was on the way back home frm dearie's place..i enjoyed every moment spend with him..he's always very sweet luh..wanna give me his very best..but sometimes i get overly naughty..throw temper here and here..i know..i can be much better luh..and i will start to control my bad temper..ha ha..but it makes me feel very xin fu to have him..cos he's someone thats so close to my heart..and i can never afford to lose him..he might not be the most prefect man on earth..but i love very much...

to maintain a long term love relationship isnt easy luh..got to give and take...if u really love that person i believe there's always a way.

moody...feeling so suckie

I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

pearl

15 may 09

well..life is still the same for me..jus came back frm downtown east chalet last weekend..was fun(:
anw....lappy down desktop down everything down...zzzz...thats one of the reason why i stop blogging...im having a tough time forgetting the pass..feels like whatever he is doing now i... still feel like knowing..sigh..i really wish that i could really forget this bastard..but its like so damn hard..i know i let u down dear..bringing this kind of unpleasant memories into ours..i know its not fair to you..but im really trying to forget..and letting it go...one thing for sure is that i really love you..im glad that i found you..someone thats full of patient towards me..i know sometimes im abit hard to deal with...im sorry..sometimes is also because of my parents that why i always seem like i have no patient towards you....

i got very f***ed up by my sis today..she's a bitch luh thats what i can say.....my mum keep calling my sis a fat pig..becos she gain alot of weight..she was super duper mad..so she wrote a note and said stop calling me a fat pig..unless ure not my mum.stop insulting me and stuff liddat....i told my mum abt it and she said she's really a pig wad thats the fact..sigh..means she's gonna continue calling her that..this morning..while she was preparing to go out my mum frm the kitchen called her fat pig again..she got so pissed up till she open the door again and shouted back into my face and said stop calling me fat pig..i got very mad cos i never ever call anyone fat pig in my whole life..cos i know how it feels..so i went to open the door and ask her whats her prob and stuff and she jus scream back twice at me..i got really pissed..damned it..my prob ah?fucking bitch..

feels like i owe everyone luh..when the hell am i gonna be happy???????



pearl

my god rec the news that the F1 show has been cancelled!! damn upset and its so last min..no work means no money...sian..whatever i have plan before hand that i wanna do seems like sigh..it wont happen..never felt so drained up before..sigh..really damn sad luh..
anw,went to find baby jus nw..god i miss him so much!! i jus enjoy spending time with you..ure like almost my everything..i love u so much..

(:

can someone make me happy for once?

had a hard timee sleeping last night..sneezing and sneezing duno how many pieces of tissue paper i used up...but duno y this morning jiu recover liao..thank god

went to collect my retainers today...and the dentist told me that i got to wear for another 2 year..zzzzz...went out with sy today..meet her at sengkang den went to look for present for her bf..find find find cannot find den end up she bought a pair of couple rings..its damn cheap luh..20+ 30 only..was wondering will it rust anot..den walk around..den i go home liao..
brought the 2 kids to the playground for half an hour..den head back for dinner..the two of them play until it seems like rain drops are falling down their head..haha..

19april09

before








after(:

went to the dentist today..and the dentist told me that i can remove my braces alrd..haha..wad a surprised

really glad..after wearing it for 17months..

dear was there too(: I love him(:

so sickening..

i seriously wish that i could just get married..and just forget about everything..but its seems like even getting married is a problem now...i hate it when out of sudden my mum just like throw me to a guy and think that in every way he could provide for me..assume this and assume that..its making me so damn frustrated luh..how to not be affected?not to be jealous?when she just dote on others more den her own kids.and asking me to survive on my own when i dun even have a job now..and dear jus say dun care luh dear..i know ..dun care..but its so i duno how to describe also..i only can wait till when that person is ready and able den i can have wad i want...

i seriously wanna live life to the max and be much more happier now den the past..but seems like its not working at all..humph..the only thing that im happy with is my bf has patience ..and a good temper to tolerate me.

frustrations

when ure not feeling good.when ure stuck in life..when ur love ones really couldnt make it to be there for you when you needed them the most..and it feels suck...sigh..oh well...in this kind of situation the only thing is to go shopping..i really wish i could...but circumstances dun allow me to do so..imagine that i have stop buying clothes for more den 3 months...i think some of you might think that im kidding you..but its true luh..humph...no way i can do that to vent my frustrations for now....and my mum keeps thinking that my boyfriend is a money god that can provide me with whatever i wanna....at first i tot that she's jus kidding but after awhile i realised that she mean it.faint..sad right.i have never felt so empty in life before....
but thank God that before sch starts i have a temp assignment for F1 at the airport..so at least its not so bad.

i thanks God for every single day i have...every meal..every little thing...
i really hope that things will get better soon.

memories after memories

capturing all the happiest moment with you..all the silly moments i rem..(:

ha ha

love you

When you have to look away

When you dont have much to say

Thats when I love you I love you, just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak

Or see you walk with two left feet

Thats when I love you I love you,

endlessly And when your mad cuz you lost a game

Forget Im waiting in the rain

Baby i love you, I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight

You can count on me for life

Thats when i love you

When nothing you do can change my mind

The more I learn, The more I love

The more my heart cant get enough

Thats when I love you,

WhenI love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes

Cause the movie it made you cry

Thats when I love you I love you a little more each time

And when you cant quite match your clothes

Or when you laugh at your own jokes

Thats when I love you I love you, more than youll know

And when you forget that we had a date

Or that look that you get when you show up late

Baby I love you, I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight

You can count on me for life

Thats when i love you

When nothing you do can change my mind

The more I learn, The more I love

The more my heart cant get enough

Thats when I love you, When I love you no matter what

Thats when I love you When nothing baby

Nothing you do could change my mind

The more I learn, The more I love

The more my heart cant get enough

Thats when I love you,

When I love you No matter what No matter...