to my dearest dear: i heart you(:

Two is better than one(:

i remember what you wore on our first day,

you came into my life and i thought hey

you know this could be something

cos everything you do and words you say

you know that it all takes my breath away

and now im left with nothing

so maybe it's true, that i cant live without you

and maybe two is better than one

but there's so much time, to figure out the rest in my life

and you've already got me coming undone

and im thinking two, is better then one

i remember every look upon your face

the way you roll your eyes the way you taste

you make it hard for breathing

cos when i close my eyes and drift away

i think of you and everything's okay

and finally now, believing

hai..

headaches headaches and more headaches....hai..i wanna faint liao seriously..and sometimes feel like i have fainting spells...i really realised that being pregnant is so tough eh....oh well..but its all worth it...(: i hope that i can get to know my baby's gender soon..so that when getting baby's stuff wouldnt be so tough....

):

seriously feeling very terrible the whole day today! having a damn jialat headche...and i suddenly feel dizzy when i get up frm bed or sofa...when to bathe ard 5 i vomit my breakfast out while bathing...ooo...so damn er xin.but feel much better after vomitting....sigh...i still hate to eat alot of things..but im good at tibits..lol

frustrations

drilling and drilling non stop since ystd morning and they continue drilling today...omg..i cannt stand it anymore...and another day tml!!! becos of all the renovation at 12th storey i dun get to slp !!! arghhhhh......... im having headache now! im feeling so tired! hope they finish everything quick!and return me my peace!

well, i wonder hows my sweetheart doing in my tummy...i wanna do another scan during march to know bb's gender..

dear is as busy as ever....wont be seeing him for the nx five days ...hai....realised tt he often cannot be with me nowadays. when i need him the most now. but, sigh..wadever...

???

are you kaylee or darius....

mummy so wanna know!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CNY

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE AND MY LITTLE SWEETHEART INSIDE MY TUMMY(:

MUMMY LOVE YOU.




BORING V.DAY

evil

many things happen..and im left speechless...i learn to not judge someone by their fake cover. things may turn out scary, or maybe er xin when you know who that person really is........

2dec09

im so bored.......school suck..

finally 2009 is coming to an end! time really pass damn fast...and im married for 5 months alrd...zzzzzzz

well, Christmas is getting nearer....this year christmas is so not planned...hmm..so sian.i think xmas eve is stay at home n company his mum..zz..i just duno why me n his mum just cant click at all...i din know tt staying with mil is tt difficult. if i knew it earlier den i wont even marry him alrd..cos i dun wanna him to be stuck in the middle like sandwhich...duno what to do. he upset i also upset den no one is happy. i really hate this phrase jia ji suay ji jia go suay go...duno who the hell invented this kinda of stupid phrase...zzzz i really feel tt once married parents shld let go and let this own child manage their own life..not everything also wanna bother..and i really feel that we shld stay ourself instead of staying with in laws..if really have to stay with in laws if they are nice..den nevermind.not nice u die..and u will curse n swear for the rest of ur life...okay i know i sound very negative.. but im really quite upset about things now.

my xmas wish this year would be having a child of my own another little one that is precious to me.im really hoping for one...
a hol nx year..haha...okay i know im quite greedy...ha ha....

ita a boring sunday...

how nice if he's here by my side.......

another 10days without hearing from you...piss........

sigh

was a damn tiring day today. when back panjang after lesson to move my furniture to my master bedroom and cleaning up.. its was really tough...kayse came to help..if not i think the three of us can die moving the heavy furniture liao. after that went steamboat at bugis. den now im home again..exhausted..jus finish bathing..hair damn wet....and i have nth better to do but blog.whenever im unhappy, feeling down i would jus wanna blog. i realised that my eyebags are getting worst OMG!...like since when? den i realised that i haven been sleeping well the pass nights.

my dearest

he finally call me the day before.. for less then 5 mins he hang the call.cos its 3 dol plus per min...

tues - another day without you....

sigh..no news of him..haven been hearing from him.

had business statistic class test today it totally suck.

waiting for someone u love is really tough

baby im so bored...

its friday

sigh..im really miss him loadsssss i wonder does he really miss me as much as i do..? or even more or abit lesser.....i really feel quite upset...i just wanna shout it all out i know that wouldnt really ease the pain of separation.. but how? i also cant do anything much...i feel that im jus a human being that dont have the energy and power to move...i feel so lazy..so mood swing..as the days goes by....without hearing from him at all...i wanna find things to do, go out and have fun and jus forget about him for one moment but i cant stop my mind from thinking about him for any moment of time..i have projects to do and also to revise for the coming test..but sigh..i jus felt that im quite useless.....like dont have my baby dont have his love cannot work LOL..i jus miss his embrace...and when he look at me and tell me that he loves me...aww..like so sweet right..oh well,i think im crazy alrd..miss him too much miss until my brain demage alrd..humph....

i feel real bad today..i dont know why i will say such things but i guess im jus missing him too much till i was like angry?with him?ha ha...i know im very funny...i text him saying that i dun wan you alrd..faint...i dk how will he react when he see that msg ...sigh......so bad of me): im really sorry..

updates

been so long i last blog...well pass two months was very busy...wedding and stuff that i don wish to metion anymore.

well, baby went Aus alrd...duration six weeks?sigh...kinda of bored actually...no reception.. counldnt contact at all..i wonder when then im able to hear from him again or at least a mail or something..thou this is a shorter trip but im real sian..cos i din manage to hear from him for quite a munber of days alrd..he left some responsibility with me before he left..there's some stuff that i need to ask him...hdb is coming out with another BTO tomorrow i dont wish to miss out this chance...but i cant contact him.....cant discuss with him..sian...and i really think that people are very selfish at times..they wont rem the good things that u did for them.being there when they're feeling lonely..but now when its your turn they dun really give a damn..dun bother to even ask much.husband ard den always stick to husband forget abt anyone else...often take the little one as excuse.having a kid doesnt mean that its the end lor.. doesnt mean that everything also cannot do..things would be much easier if u dont think until its so damn hard to do....i feel so damn cheated by you..im not gg to be so nice anymore.

baby i miss you..come back quick pls....

i may not know it but these are the moments that i am going to remember the most. just gonna keep going..and i got to be strong just keep pushing on...

we love you baby, but you chose to leave us. we have got no choice but to accept it and force ourselves to move on. its nobody's fault. maybe we just dont have the fate to see each other.tho is just 3months but you meant alot to us.

we have always loved you since the day that we found out about you....

(:

im offically married to mr chen wuda..with so many blessings from everyone...thank you so much(: you're always the sweetest dear..and i love you so much..thanks for making everything come true for me.it was a tiring yet memorable night last night...and i will always rem it for life..for watever things that you did for me.im loooking foward to more in our marriage...and our little gift that have yet to come into this world(:

sigh

im so afraid of facing reality.really. OBS.sigh....come to think about it.i feel so afraid.i cant bear to be seperated from you for another 4 months again.but yet i still have to let you go.....its so painful..that feeling is terrible.really...i really hate it.but i cant avoid it...God can you pls make me feel less? so that i wont feel so much pain inside of me?

my 20th bd

thanks dear..love you(:

photos without editing

haha...here's one of the 33 pics that we have chosen..the rest you will get to see on the actual day(:

july...the month of exams and my 20th birthday..supposed to be a happy one but sigh..i have no mood for it already i totally dont know what to do or face that problem without anyone's support i dont wanna be a murderer seriously.

been very busy with stupid projects this few weeks.like sian..and the lecturer dont even make herself clear in whatever things she explain..zzz..dun wanna talk abt it anymore..tml's my project submission date.hope i get good grades..hahha

anw, went town with mum and the kids on friday.went shopping around..andwe saw these pretty flower girl dress for the 2 girls(: pretty right..ha ha..but its abit too early to get it..so shall wait till nx year den go get it..

went to watch transformer with baby jus now..nice show..(:

gtg..got school tml..zzz..sian..wanna graduate quick!!

anniversary cum proposal

ystd was our anniversary..so baby and i went to sizzler to eat and celebrate..and its my first time eating steaks in a restaurant...hha..very gugu right...baby also bought me flowers..after that we went to the fountain of wealth to watch the laser show......and i din expect that he will actually propose there..i was super suprised..when the laser form a line of words saying "pearlyn will you please marry me?"..i was so touch..so so touch..tears flow down my cheeks...OMG...i really cant believe it...no one has ever do so much things for me in my 20 years......i love you dear..thank you so much...

i love you baby...

love love with lots of love..

with lots of love

pearl

ooo.. time flies..im gg back to school nx week..feeling excited i wonder how will it be like..ha ha..this yr is really fast its alrd june..half the year gone liao..and its also our one yr anniversary.....

when its like next week and next week but it din come..baby loves to sleep and his sleeping now..sigh..i have always wanted to go to marina barrage..go for pinic and stuff but its not happening..kinda of sianthats why i can blog now..i have nth to do but i dun wanna slp my weekends away lor its damn boring....well...baby say that he have a good news for us..and the good news is there's flat available in sk...near my parents place...end up see wrong..becos of the t&c we cannot apply..zzzzzzz): happy news become sad news...dear also told me that his ship will not be going for the 4 months deployment nx year so he will have to go with another ship...and becos of that he cannot promote nx yr ): so sad lor..he have to wait till 2011 or even later to get his staff sergent rank...sian...when he talk abt the 4 months trip hor..it reminds me of last year..when we were jus together for a few months and he have to leave me for the 4 months trip..feeling so sad..the flash back of him telling me that he gtg..waving goodbye to me frm far...tears began to flow down my cheeks..that painful feeling i will never forget..how i wish that he dun have to go..and we will jus have enough money to get married....

even typing all this make my tear so much liao..i cant imagine that day...
i guess it will be even worst then the previous one cos feelings have gone deeper..



pearl

i finally got my new netbook frm dear..can use internet at home liao after so long....ha ha..well life is still the same for me..zzz..soon sch gonna start liao..and i got to start all over again to study!..also duno how..but also must know how..ha ha..well was on the way back home frm dearie's place..i enjoyed every moment spend with him..he's always very sweet luh..wanna give me his very best..but sometimes i get overly naughty..throw temper here and here..i know..i can be much better luh..and i will start to control my bad temper..ha ha..but it makes me feel very xin fu to have him..cos he's someone thats so close to my heart..and i can never afford to lose him..he might not be the most prefect man on earth..but i love very much...

to maintain a long term love relationship isnt easy luh..got to give and take...if u really love that person i believe there's always a way.

moody...feeling so suckie

I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

pearl

15 may 09

well..life is still the same for me..jus came back frm downtown east chalet last weekend..was fun(:
anw....lappy down desktop down everything down...zzzz...thats one of the reason why i stop blogging...im having a tough time forgetting the pass..feels like whatever he is doing now i... still feel like knowing..sigh..i really wish that i could really forget this bastard..but its like so damn hard..i know i let u down dear..bringing this kind of unpleasant memories into ours..i know its not fair to you..but im really trying to forget..and letting it go...one thing for sure is that i really love you..im glad that i found you..someone thats full of patient towards me..i know sometimes im abit hard to deal with...im sorry..sometimes is also because of my parents that why i always seem like i have no patient towards you....

i got very f***ed up by my sis today..she's a bitch luh thats what i can say.....my mum keep calling my sis a fat pig..becos she gain alot of weight..she was super duper mad..so she wrote a note and said stop calling me a fat pig..unless ure not my mum.stop insulting me and stuff liddat....i told my mum abt it and she said she's really a pig wad thats the fact..sigh..means she's gonna continue calling her that..this morning..while she was preparing to go out my mum frm the kitchen called her fat pig again..she got so pissed up till she open the door again and shouted back into my face and said stop calling me fat pig..i got very mad cos i never ever call anyone fat pig in my whole life..cos i know how it feels..so i went to open the door and ask her whats her prob and stuff and she jus scream back twice at me..i got really pissed..damned it..my prob ah?fucking bitch..

feels like i owe everyone luh..when the hell am i gonna be happy???????



pearl